How a Heart Breaks
by Lycans-DollHouse
Summary: Edwards left,but does he realise exactly who hes leaving behind? Rated for later themes
1. Lost in Time

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters and simply play around with them to create a home for my own ideas.**

**AN: Blatantly set in New Moon, lets pretend it wasnt Sam that found Bella but Jake instead and he`s already phasing which Bella knows about. I dont know just yet how this story is going to turn out but im hoping to know in the next few weeks as things are made clearer.**

**This first chapter is for Daddys Little Cannibal, i only found out about her death today which has pushed me to get this first chapter done today, she was an amazing writer and deserves every praise for her work, she wasnt afraid of her writing and encouraged alot of other people.**

**Otherwise this story is for the person thats my normal inspiration and gives me the emotions i need to write, so this is or you, wherever you are love.**

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The two lovers stood in the middle of the clearing, trees surrounding them the silent guardians watching the lion and the lamb. Bella stood warily; she knew something was wrong it was easy to recognise the detached look on his face. She thought about the way he`d kissed her when she left the house that night, hungry and desperate. There was only one time he`d kissed her like that before and that was when he was trying to say goodbye. He didn't even reply to the normal ` i love you' as she walked out the door.

Turning Edward faced Bella, shadows forming over pale skin, wide eyes watching his every movement.

"I don't want you anymore Bella."

"Well that changes things."

"Take care of yourself; don't do anything reckless or stupid."

And that was it; leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead he left her life as quickly as he entered it. Not realising the gaping hole he had just made in the life he left behind him. No regard for the past few months he had spent with a girl thoroughly in love with him. His words ran through Bella's head. He told her he didn't love her and never had, that she was only an amusement for him and his family.

The waves of pain came much quicker than the growing shadows, blindly stumbling through the forest she finally gave up. Her legs giving out as her strength failed, crumpling to the floor and sobbing. Loud harsh cries tore from her throat, tears streamed over pale cheeks to land in the soil. She lay for hours, trying to breathe around the wound in her chest, every breathe making her chest constrict as she realised what he life was going to be like without them.

He wasn't going to be there, no visits, no texts, no phone calls, nothing.

_It will be as if I'd never existed._

The pain pulled her under, there was no way of escaping or easing it and she didn't want to. There was no life without Edward, no reason to wake up and get out of bed in the morning. How could she climb out of her bed knowing that she wasn't going to see the beautiful smile on his face as he hugged her? Or blunder through the school day knowing she couldn't escape to him and the Cullen's at the end of it. She wasn't only losing him she was losing the family as well, such a large section of her already dwindling life.

Unacceptable. Nausea swam through her body, making her grit her teeth and curl further into a ball.

Bella had no idea how long she lay on the ground, crying into the surrounding dark. It was Jake who found her, huddled on the floor looking like a tiny broken child. Scooping her up he carried her back through the trees, murmuring in her ear the whole while. The heat radiating from his bare skin soon seeped through the layers of clothes and warmed her up. She hadn't even noticed she was cold.

However when he mentioned Edwards name Bella started to cry, loud heart wrenching screams that bounced off the trees and echoed around them. Unsuccessfully trying to calm her down he inevitably had to run back to her father Charlie's house when she started to fit, limbs shaking uncontrollably.

Laying her cold body down on the worn couch the doctor and Charlie, with Jacobs help spent the next hour trying to rouse Bella out of whatever state she was in. Eventually she stopped on her own, falling into a silent restless sleep that nobody wanted to bring her out of and doubted they could if they tried.

With Jake carrying Bella upstairs to her room to put her to bed, Charlie turned to the doctor demanding to know what was wrong with his daughter. Sitting down the doctor explained to Charlie that Bella had suffered a panic attack, set off when Jake had said Bella's name. The overload of emotion and memories into her mind was too much, causing her to break down; he doubted Bella would remember these attacks and that she would need rest.

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**AN:Only a short chapter to get things started, reviews and critiscsms are welcome even if theyre anonymous. Notes and plans are done for the next chapters and i have alot more spare time on my hands than usual due to unfortuanate circumstances and ill health so updates and chapters should be soon.**


	2. Anchors

**AN:Once again i own nothing, sorry for the short chapters im a bit distracted right now and was unsure of how i wanted Bella & Jakes relationship in here but after last nights New Moon i figured it out, my oh my wasnt he delicious soaking wet?**

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Waking up the next morning Bella groaned and turned her face into the pillow, feeling stiff and cold she gingerly raised herself into a sitting position. Sliding her hand backward to feel for Edward she glanced toward the wicker rocking chair near the window when she didn't find him. The chair was empty, a pair of jeans thrown haphazardly across it.

Suddenly everything came rushing back, Edwards face among the trees, his words running through her head.

_` I don't want you anymore Bella.'_

Clapping a shaking hand to her mouth she stumbled from the bed to the bathroom, falling to her knees in front of the toilet before emptying her stomach. After what seemed like an age she leant back, pushing her long dark hair back from her sweaty face. Shifting Bella slumped back against the wall, chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

Her entire body trembled, weak from the exertion as she staggered to her feet to rinse her mouth in the sink. Everything swam before her eyes as Bella shuffled back to her room. Dropping down to the bed with a soft thump she moaned as she shut her eyes, the pounding in her head only becoming stronger.

Charlie shuffled through the doorway, "You alright Bells? Gave us quite a fright last night you wanna talk about it?" Taking in her widened eyes he quickly reconsidered, hurrying to reassure her. "It's okay, we don't have to talk about it now Bella, in your own time."

Bella nodded weakly, heart rate returning to normal in her chest. Pulling in a shaky breath she looked up at her father still stood uncomfortably in the doorway.

"You need anything?" Charlie asked. At the negative headshake he came forward and kissed her on the head. "Love you kiddo, Jake should be here soon Billy just rang ahead."

The sound of the police cruisers engine starting up soon filtered through the open window, signalling Charlie leaving for work, the noise soon dwindling to silence. Bella sighed, swallowing thickly as she fought back the nausea again. Squeezing her eyelids tightly together her chest heaved as she fought back tears as Edwards face and that of the other Cullen's, her family, appeared on her eyelids.

One pale hand pressed at her chest, at the tearing pain in her heart while the other clenched in the duvet cover, knuckles turning white with pressure. Hot tears spilled out from underneath dark eyelashes, running down white cheeks to fall and create dark purple spots on the duvet.

Sudden heat enveloped the hand twined in the creased material; swollen eyes flew open as Bella started unaware of Jacobs's arrival. He sat on the bed at her feet, his large tanned hand covering her own tiny white one. Dark eyes full of undeniable sorrow for the girl he loved sat in front of him, broken. The fight against the tears was lost as Bella`s shoulders shook in defeat and let the sobs escape her body freely no longer trying to reign them in.

Jacob caught Bella as her body slumped forward, drawing her forward onto his lap to cradle her as she cried gently rocking her tired body back and forth. He pulled her tighter to him as her hand grabbed his shirt fingers twisting in the material to anchor her to him. Running his fingers through her hair soothingly he held the hand Bella was clutching to her chest.

"Oh Bella honey shh it's alright I'm not leaving, I promise I'm never leaving you Bell's." His husky voice murmured softly into the tousled hair under his lips.

Repeating her name like a mantra Jacob shifted on the bed, lifting Bella completely as he placed his back against the headboard and tucking Bella back against his chest in an attempt to make her more comfortable. Hoping the sound of his voice would keep her tied to reality he let her cry herself out into his chest. Eventually the sobs turned into sniffles and deep breaths and Bella pressed her face into the warmth of Jacobs's neck.

"Jake?"Abused vocal cords protested and surrendered a hoarse whisper.

"I'm here Bell's don't worry."

Secure in the knowledge Jacob wouldn't let go Bella gave in, sleep once again dragging her under into the dark. Instinctually sliding down the bed to enable Bella to sleep comfortably as soon as her body relaxed, Jacob circled his arm round her, holding the hand she rested over his heart, dark brown a stark contrast against the milky white skin. He didn't need his werewolf side to want to protect her while she was vulnerable, and the faint second heartbeat he could hear made the urge all the stronger.

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**AN: Caught on yet then? Do tell ;) Review dears, even if you dont have a log in.**


	3. Revelations

**AN:Well this ones slightly longer, im getting into it abit more now that i have a better idea of whats going on. Anyone worked it out yet?**

**Disclaimer: All characters and settings belong to Stephenie Meyer, lucky woman.**

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Restless in her sleep Bella mumbled as her hand tightened on Jacobs's shirt, fingers flexing and closing again. Roused from his thinking Jake tightened his arm round her, fingers gently running through her hair in an attempt to calm her. He began to lose his grip on her however when she started to toss, body twisting and whimpering. That was when the screams started, loud heart wrenching screams that jolted Jacob upright as he sought to wake her up. He could hear her heartbeat pounding in her chest signalling her distress.

"Bella wake up, c`mon Bell's wake up for me, it's not real I promise your dreaming come back Bella." He pleaded with her, desperately trying to break through the nightmare. Why wasn't she waking up? Bella suddenly bolted upright in the bed gasping, tears running down her face and her hair tousled wildly around her face. Wide terrified eyes stared straight into Jacobs before clapping a hand over her mouth and launching herself off the bed straight into the bathroom.

Jacob sighed as he heard the sounds of her throwing up for what he knew was the second time this morning, he didn't realise it would be this bad. In all certainties he didn't even think she knew yet. Running a hand through his dark hair he got up off the bed and collected a clean change of clothes for Bella, comfy sweats and a sweater as well as clean towels from the airing cupboard.

His best friend sat on the bathroom floor, propped up by her arms on the porcelain. Moving into the small bathroom he lifted her small frame off the floor, giving her a few moments rest while he put the towels out. Pushing the plug in Jake leant over and twisted the taps in the bath, water pouring out to fill itself with warm water. Bella shifted to lean herself over the sink, brushing her teeth with the toothbrush Jacob handed her, rinsing her mouth she allowed him to twist her long hair back out of her face in his big hands.

Steam rose from the bath and obscured the mirror as Bella climbed into the water, allowing her tired and stiff body to sink under the relaxing heat. "Call me when you're ready Bell's."

Hearing her werewolf pad down the stairs Bella leant her head back against the porcelain edge, hair swirling beneath the water around her shoulders. Mind wandering as the warmth seeped into her body, cocooning her in a blanket. Her stomach threatened to churn again, bringing her attention to the rising nausea. Swallowing she waited until it had subsided.

'_I haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon, I shouldn't have anything to bring up, so why have I, twice?'_

As a thought occurred in her head, Bella quickly did a count in her head, brow furrowing.

'_One two three...nine?! What? How the hell, it's impossible! It can't be there's a mistake.'_

Submerging her head in the water Bella sat up again, blinking water drops from her eyelashes and reaching for the shampoo bottle. Forcing heavy arms to cooperate she lathered her hair twice, tilting back to rinse the soap from her hair, before conditioning it and scrubbing the mud from her body. When the normally white skin was a rosy pink and she felt sufficiently clean she unsteadily stepped from the bath into the huge fluffy towel Jake had left her. Feeling lightheaded she sunk onto the toilet seat and closed her eyes.

"Jake?"

Footsteps climbed the stairs and the door opened to reveal her sunshine, steam escaping around his frame. Stepping over her legs with surprising grace for his size he bent to pull the plug from the bath, draining away the water.

"You feel any better Bell's?" Sympathy filled eyes looked down at her, concern lacing his voice as he spoke.

At the raised brow in response he gently lifted her upright and picked up her clothes. Supporting her while she towelled herself dry he helped Bella into her clothes. Being best friends since birth had banished the awkwardness that would have otherwise occurred with being naked in front of your best friend, with said friend dressing you. Leading her through back to the bedroom Jake picked up the hairbrush on the sink and the towel Bella had used. Sitting her on the bed he gently dried her hair, towelling away any excess water.

Reaching down for the hairbrush he ran it through the tangles with surprising tenderness, carefully brushing out any knots he found along the way. The familiarity of Jacob's hands in her hair calmed Bella, hands resting limply in her lap her chocolate eyes gazed out the window into the forest behind it.

Jake plaited the thick dark hair with deft fingers, weaving in and out of the strands pulling it away from her face before tying it off with the band circling his wrist. He moved around the room, putting things away and returning to tidy the bathroom, he moved easily around the house that was his second home, straightening the bedcovers and moving dirty clothes into the wash basket.

"Thanks Jake, really." Bella's soft voice pulled his attention from the tasks.

"S`alright Bell's you know that, come out let's get you something to eat or Charlie will have my tail." Ignoring the slight grimace that twisted her face Jacob scooped her up in his arms, not wanting to take their chances on the stairs with her current state and normally clumsiness. Lowering her onto the wooden chair in the kitchen he turned away, placing a mug of tea and a plate of dry toast in front of her.

Slim fingers delicately picking at the toast that she really didn't want Bella glanced up at Jacob sitting opposite her, absently munching on his own stack of toast twice the size of her own and covered in jam.

"Jake I think I need your help with something, would you mind running to the store and picking something up for me please?" Bella's voice broke on the something, and swallowed thickly eyes stinging before taking a large gulp of her tea. Jacob's eyes widened perceptibly,

"You don't need it Bell's, I can already tell you I heard it earlier. Faint but the heartbeats definitely there."

Bella's eyes swam with tears, knuckles turning white as she gripped the mug,

"He knew didn't he? That's why he left."

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**Understand yet?**

**Review**


	4. Grass Stains

**AN: Well this is the telling chapter, im hoping people would have figured it out by now but if you havent then here you go you cant miss it second half is a dream sequence so forgive me if its not very clear.**

**Disclaimer: All belonging to Stephenie Meyer, lucky bird.**

**Im not alive, if your not breathing.**

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_A mothers joy begins when new life is stirring inside,_

_When a tiny heartbeat is heard for the very first time_

_And a playful kick reminds her she is never alone._

_Author Unknown_

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"No Bella he didn't know, I only heard the heartbeat for the first time this morning he wouldn't have heard it yesterday. I don't know why he left but it certainly wasn't that, if he knew he would have stayed Edwards responsible that way, I'm sure even a bloodsucker wouldn't leave his own kid no matter his feelings for the mother."

Unfolding his lanky frame from the chair Jake got up and made his way round the table, pulling Bella onto his lap. Head tucked under his chin she grabbed his arm,

"What am I going to do Jake? What about Renee & Charlie they're going to go mad! Their only daughter pregnant by a guy who`s run off! They had me young and look what happened; they split up soon after and moved to completely different places. How can I tell them I'm pregnant? Do I keep it, what would he want? Vampires can't get humans pregnant how did this happen? I'm no good with kids Jake what the hell do I do?" Breathless and tearful she sobbed into Jacobs shoulder.

"I dunno Bell`s, Charlie & Renee will understand they're good like that, you won't be alone through any of this, you have your family and your friends to support you. You`ll be a wonderful mother Bella I know you will, you look after everyone how could you think you'd be no good?"

Rocking gently on the chair he tried to assure her, gently stroking the fabric along her back murmuring endearments in her ear. "I'm never leaving Bella I promise, no matter who comes along or what happens I'm not leaving you to bring up a baby on your own, even if it's not mine."

A muffled murmur came from Bella, face pressed against his neck it was unintelligible but the meaning was clear enough for him. Holding her tighter he sat and thought about what she had asked, what would happen? What would the baby be like, a normal pregnancy? He listened carefully to the extra heartbeat coming from Bella's body; would the baby be healthy enough with Bella ill and depressed? Should she keep the bloodsucker's baby?

Bella's thoughts were much along the same lines. She was worried what her parents would think; would they make her have an abortion? How the hell had this happened it should've been practically impossible? And the main one, running across her mind again and again, should she keep the baby? Could she really be one of those women that brought up the baby with no father, no extra love and had to look in their child's eyes everyday and see the eyes of their lover? Edward wasn't coming back that much was sure, his family had gone along with him.

Would Edward want a child? Yes, that was easy he`d treasure and love it every day, his own flesh and blood he loved children. Did Bella want a child? If the baby was Edwards then yes, getting to keep a part of her soul mate with her every day, someone to love, someone that would depend solely on Bella, it tugged at her heart. But could she do it? The attacks, not eating the depression, it wouldn't all go away. The pain of Edward leaving wasn't going to disappear it'd always feel like a jagged hole punched through Bella's chest, knowing he left her alone telling her he didn't love her, she was just another plaything.

Images began to filter through her mind. A newborn baby nestled in its mother's arms, Bella's, tiny fingers grasping her own. A dark haired child laughing on a swing, brave enough to swing higher. Edward fast asleep in a chair, baby snuggled on his chest and book in hand. Bright green eyes in a laughing teenagers face, Edwards human eyes. Bella & Edward cheering as their child graduates, golden bands glittering on their entwined fingers.

Other thoughts flashed across the first, Bella's body flying off the cliff into the freezing water below, a variety of pills and alcohol a killer cocktail, blood red slashes stark against white skin, Charlie's shotgun, walking in front of a car.

'_Well, I wasn't going to live without you.'_

Eyes snapping open, Bella gripped the fabric under her face.

Could she not only take her own life, one that meant so little without him, but his baby`s as well? Was she capable of not being responsible for one death but two?

Wrapping her eyes tighter round Jacob's neck she fought to control her breathing, falling asleep with deep even breaths to the feel of Jacobs warm hands wrapped around her tiny frame, protecting both mother and child.

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Bella dreamed, standing in the middle of their meadow, the once lush green grass n rainbow flowers dead, dry and broken underfoot. She looked up to see Edward stood across from her, feet locking her in place she couldn't move. Instead Edward moved forward slow even steps toward her, coming to rest paces away he lifted his arm and handed Bella the knife, glinting in the sunlight. Normally warm sparkling eyes were cold and lifeless, no emotion behind them. As though in slow motion his lips moved,

_I don't want you anymore Bella._

Bella stared at him, willing him to take back his words stop the pain he was causing, with glistening eyes she took the knife fingers wrapping around the blade he offered. Her eyes flicked up from the steel to his face,

_Do you love me?_

_I don't want you anymore Bella._

Gripping the handle she dragged the tip from her wrist to elbow, tracing fine lines across the skin that soon bloomed blood, arms burning she repeated the motion across the other before dropping the knife. The blood ran thick and fast, red stark across the paling white of the skin dripping down to stain the dead grass at her feet. Gritting her teeth Bella looked up toward the love of her life, instead directly in her line of vision was a little girl.

At the age of six or seven thick dark hair already fell in waves to the bottom of her back, framing a pale face. Head cocked to the side her lower lip trembled slightly, staring at Bella with green eyes framed by dark lashes. A swell of love rushed through Bella and she held her arms out to hug the girl, heedless of the blood dripping from her arms but inexplicably needing to comfort the beautiful child, she shouldn't be so sad.

Instead long arms intervened, Edward scooping up the child and pulling her away from Bella. Making a noise of protest the child struggled to get to Bella who in turn once again stepped forward, halting her movements at a cold glare from Edward.

_Mummy doesn't love us anymore baby._

_What? How could you think that? Edward she's mine!_

Pointedly looking at the blood still dripping to the ground around Bella he shifted their daughter in his arms. Following his gaze Bella flexed her fingers, looking toward her daughter helplessly.

_Mummy doesn't love us anymore baby._

Repeating his statement Edward turned and walked away, the dark head resting on his shoulder watching her mother with sorrowful eyes. Bella stood rooted to the spot, watching the two figures walk away, horrified at what she'd thrown away, at the blood her daughter had just seen. Her vision darkened as the effects of blood loss kicked in, swaying everything went black.

Starting awake she found her face held in Jake's hands, dark eyes staring at her worriedly. Shuddering gasps tore from her chest, the dream echoing in her head.

"Are you alright? You started twitching and mumbling."

Squeezing her eyes shut tightly for a moment and taking a breath before she answered.

"Just a dream Jake, just a dream."

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**AN: Hope that wasnt too confusing, let me know and ill try and alter it to make it clearer. Review and help me get another chapter up tonight :)**


	5. Bitesize

**AN: Sorry for the delay, had other things to deal with recently. I needed to skip ahead a little bit which is why i only really went into detail in the scan. Hope that doesnt cause too much confusion for you all.**

**Stephenie Meyers as usual**

**She`ll be beautiful cause she's yours (: I love you**

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_Even if you think the flame has died,_

_There's at least one lyric that'll hit the last hot spot_

_& then you`ll find yourself as fucked as you were,_

_The day you lied and said you never wanted to see her again._

_John Mayer_

It was a week before Bella finally told Charlie, being a police officer he'd started asking questions about her throwing up in the mornings and it all just came out. Surprisingly he was okay about it, he wasn't too happy that his only daughter was pregnant by somebody he didn't like and had run off but he accepted it soon enough. Renee however was more off a wild canon and wasn't speaking to her daughter at all, blaming Bella for being stupid.

Jacob had stayed over since arriving, his things were in Bella's room and his father Billy came round for dinner every night and went fishing with Charlie as usual. Charlie loved Jacob as his own and had no problem with Jake staying over; it was at his reluctance to leave Bella alone while he was at work that had made Billy suggest it. The young werewolf was meant to sleep on the couch but after his first night of staying in the house it became pretty obvious he wouldn't be sleeping there for long. Bella's nightmares had gotten worse after finding out about the baby, the argument with her mother hadn't helped and the doctor had diagnosed her with an eating disorder, a dangerous thing to have whilst pregnant. Bella's screams normally filled the house about one in the morning, with both Charlie and Jake rushing to her room to check on her. While Charlie was able to wake her up it was only Jake that could comfort her to a degree for her to calm down. It was normally at night when she had the attacks; the dreams becoming a terrifying reality in her mind that made her body react in kind. It was the silent ones she had while asleep that worried them both, the ones they didn't always hear.

Once waking her Charlie would return to bed, after watching Jake settle into bed with her and being satisfied his daughter was safe. Small body tucked safely under his arm Bella would uneasily fall back to sleep, usually to have a less powerful nightmare, Jacobs's presence and warmth comforted her slightly in her sleep. He wouldn't be able to sleep however; he was getting more and more worried about Bella and the baby's health. Bella had lost her appetite due to the disorder and combined with the morning sickness she had become painfully thin, her figure shrinking she was looking awfully like a porcelain doll. They all knew it wasn't healthy for the baby and it made Bella all the more anxious and stressed, making her all the more ill. Fretting into the late hours of the morning Jake would eventually be lulled into sleep by the dual heartbeats thumping under his hands.

Two days after telling Charlie Bella had her first antenatal appointment, once recovering from the initial shock her father had urged her to see the doctor, he wanted both his daughter and grandchild healthy. He left for work in the morning, wishing her luck over breakfast Jake had made due to Bella's intolerance of eggs now she was pregnant. Driving Bella`s battered Chevy to the hospital Bella & Jake had walked inside and registered at reception. The check-up was simple enough, she wasn't Carlisle but she was nice enough.

"Now Bella I need to ask a few personal questions would you prefer the father to wait outside for a few moments?" Her gaze dropped down to their entwined hands.

"The father? You mean Jake? Uhm no it's fine he's just my best friend."

"Oh I see, ever so sorry Bella my mistake," She smiled charmingly, "will the father be joining us today?"

Bella's nervous smile dropped and clutched Jacobs hand tightly, nails leaving white crescents in his skin. Alarmed at the shade of white Bella had become, the doctor frowned slightly, smile faltering before Jacob hurried to correct her.

"I'm afraid he won't be, ma'am he was unaware of Bella's pregnancy before he decided to leave Forks with his family."

"Oh my dear I'm so sorry, I just keep putting my foot in it today don't I? Not to worry, we`ll get on shall we? Now can you remember when your last period was?"

Swallowing through a suddenly dry throat Bella nodded, her grip on Jake's hand loosening slightly.

"Nearing eleven weeks now."

"Right and everything was normal I assume?" She glanced at the computer screen once seeing Bella's nod of confirmation.

" Well seeing as a test has already confirmed the pregnancy and taking into account your weakened condition, are you happy to have your scan now to check everything is coming along alright with your child?"

"That would be lovely thank you." Following instruction Bella climbed onto the bed, nearly tipping off the other side in a show of her regular clumsiness before Jacob steadied her. Sliding down the already loose waistband of her jeans and lifting her shirt she lay back and looked at the ceiling, listening to the doctor bustle about the room. Jacob sat at her shoulder, eyes a darker shade of onyx than usual as he took in her flat stomach, a blatant reminder of what Edward had done to her when he left.

Glancing up at the doctor as she turned back to the bed, he eyed the off device in her hand, the wire connecting it to the monitor. Smiling reassuringly she kept Bella talking about mundane things to take her mind off what she was doing and apologising about the coldness of the gel as she spread it about her skin. Bella waved off the apology, commenting she was used to cold things, making Jacob wander just how she had stood touching Edwards icy skin.

Twirling the handheld device through the gel, the doctor smiled triumphantly when she hit the right spot, the baby's heartbeat filling the room. Jake, though used to hearing it faintly, was stunned at hearing it so loud in the room. Bella on the other hand laid there, eyes fixed on the fuzzy image on the screen and listening to her baby's heartbeat. Catching the doctors amused look in Jacob's direction she twisted her head to look at her best friend, and giggled loudly. He sat there in his seat with his eyes glued to the monitor and his jaw completely hanging open, startled from his reverie at the sound of her laughter his mouth snapped closed, embarrassed at being caught.

The doctor smiled reassuringly, "It's a surprisingly common reaction."

Cleaning the gel off Bella's stomach she froze the image onscreen, "Now I just need to do some blood tests due to your eating right now, I know you don't like blood so ill be as quick as possible. Would you like a printout of the picture?"

Quickly printing off the scan she took the blood, sliding the needle into Bella's arm while she was busy looking at the picture. The appointment was quickly over, with the doctor congratulating Bella on her pregnancy and encouraging her to eat more for the baby's sake before reminding her to book the next appointment and waving them out the door.

The ride home was quiet, Bella tracing her fingertips over the images that lay in her lap running over the black and white lines. Round the edge of the photo were the baby's details.

'Forks Hospital Baby Swan, 11 week scan, due 20th May 2010 1.7 inches'

Jake looked over at Bella, taking in the thoughtful expression on her face as she looked at the photos, reaching over he wrapped his arm round her shoulders bringing her into his heat. Charlie was delighted to see the scan image and stuck his copy straight onto the top of the telly where he could see it; Billy was over the moon and slipped his into his wallet. He loved Bella like a daughter and though the baby wasn't Jakes as the males all wished it was, he would treat the baby as his own grandchild.

The evening passed much in the same routine, Bella helped Jake to prepare dinner something that was normally her job alone. They all sat round the table all three men digging happily into their lasagne while Bella slowly ate a piece of garlic bread that she dipped into Jakes bowl occasionally. Encouraged by her progress Billy offered Bella to half the last slice of lasagne with him. Eyeing it dubiously and wondering if it would stay down she ran her fingers over her stomach, remembering the life that was currently relying on her she nodded, accepting it onto her plate.

Catching Bella's eye Jake nodded in praise at her, giving him a slight smile she returned to the lasagne, thoroughly chewing the small bites all the while reminding herself of the baby, her baby.

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**Little bit longer due to speech hope it was alright, let me know or ill neber get in gear and finish this. Cheers for the reviews for the last chapter, glad to see some people do actually take the time to leave a review even though they dont have a log in. Come on, sort it out my dears. **


	6. Empty Places

_**I know im bad im sorry ive been busy and i didnt want to jinx anything, but here we go here's another chapter and there'll be one up soon.**_

**_You've left me not knowing how _**

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'_Sad isn't it?_

_ How no matter what you do or say to me,_

_ when you come running back,_

_ when you need me again... I'll be here... right here waiting for you,_

_ I'll take you back... no questions asked. _

_Sad isn't it?'_

It took small steps to set Bella back on the right track, physically if not mentally. With Charlie and Billy's encouragement she tentatively began to help Jake make meals for everyone, though at breakfast times he was mainly on his own in the kitchen. Mornings weren't a good time for Bella and she tried to avoid the strong smell of coffee that drifted through the lower floor of the house. It was this time she spent sat on the steps of the back door, where the air was clear and didn't threaten her with nausea. Charlie on occasion would be puttering around the back door and she would watch him, other Billy would sit beside her in his chair and simply sit in silence with her, taking in the nature. More often than not Bella sat by herself, Jake was confident in her safety glancing through the window every so often.

The company couldn't distract Bella's mind though and her thoughts drifted to places they shouldn't, flitting deep into the forest backing the house and through to a glass walled house gathering dust amid the trees. No matter how hard she tried she could get Him off her mind, every little thing reminded her of him, places around the house where they had curled up and watched films or just talked to each other. It was constantly on her mind what he would have thought about their baby, about Bella being pregnant.

She couldn't deny she had never exactly been a child friendly person, but Edward had changed that here she was with his baby growing safe inside her belly and she was delighted. It was some little of part of him that she could keep with her and love. But could she do it? Did she really want to raise his child without him, have to look into a face that would most probably be identical to its fathers? Have the pain of knowing that no matter what he said he never loved her, she was just convenient. There were a lot of choices to be made, she was well aware the men left in her life would take care of her and the baby. But Jake wasn't the baby's father, Edward was. Bella wasn't in love with Jake she was madly in love with Edward.

But Edward had left, and he wasn't coming back, to Bella or his baby.

Edward didn't care, he lied for months after everything they'd gone through he just pretended to love her, to fill time in his immortal years. And then when he got bored he'd cut her loose, wasn't hard for him at all, he could get anyone he wanted the girls were always falling at his feet. No matter how hard she wished, no matter how much she cried he just wasn't coming back, she just wasn't enough for forever.

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**_ I know its only short and a filler really but i really wanted to move this along and get it finished quickly. So review if you can remember after all these months of silence._**


	7. Dead Air & Dead Hearts

**AN: This whole chapter is a dream just incaase it isnt obvious, still a short chapter but a little longer than the last, i thought the end of the dream was a good place to end it but you'll have to let me know.**

**Disclaimer: Sadly i dont own the beautiful people, im just playing with them for entertainment. Lyrics are from Cheryl Cole's Parachute.**

**Your always my sunshine, my light and warmth.**_____

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_

_Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late night and_  
_You are your own worst enemy ,You'll never win the fight_  
_Just hold on to me ,I'll hold on to you_  
_It's you and me up against the world_  
_It's you and me_

_I don't need a parachute ,Baby, if I've got you_  
_Baby, if I've got you ,I don't need a parachute_  
_You're gonna catch me ,You're gonna catch if I fall_  
_Down, down, down_

_I won't fall out of love ,I won't fall out of,_  
_I won't fall out of love ,I won't fall out of,_  
_I won't fall out of love ,I won't fall out of,_  
_I won't fall out of love_  
_I'll fall into you_

She was back in the meadow; the dry dead grass cracked and broke under her feet as she tread quietly forward, turning in a circle to look around. Everything was silent around her the air was thick and heavy and nothing moved, not even the leaves on the trees. Unnerved she sank to the ground, muttering when something obstructed her movement. Her hand fluttered up to the big bump that was her belly, round and obviously many more months along than what she was. Lifting her shirt Bella examined it, running her fingers over the smooth skin and wondrously stroking the part where the baby kicked up against her hand.

This baby was hers, this was what she would look like in a few months the size of a small whale and unable to see her feet. Something moved out of the corner of her eye and looking up she saw a small child. Mother and daughter locked eyes and suddenly Bella's belly was flat. Green eyes shimmered and the child's mouth trembled,

_Mummy where's Daddy?_ She looked at the trees around her, searching the darkness with innocent eyes.

_I don't know baby, I'm sorry_.

She reached out for her daughter and gasped as she flickered out of view, Bella's bump returning again before the child flickered back into being and the bump disappeared. Suddenly the forest around them burst into life and erupted with noise, birds screeched and the branches of the trees whipped viciously against each other in the air. The shadows danced and every animal in the forest thundered with their voices.

_Mummy I'm scared._ Tears spilled over pale cheeks as she rushed at her mother seeking comfort on instinct.

_I know sweetie its okay, Mummy's got you._ Enveloping the child in her arms, she pulled her into her lap cradling the small body and stroking the dark tresses as she whimpered into her mother's shoulder. Tiny tears soaked into Bella's shoulder and she rocked her gently, murmuring softly into her ear.

A small hand entwined itself in the dark curtain of Bella's own hair and tugged gently.

_Is Daddy going to chase the monsters away?_

Bella glanced down at her child in puzzlement,

_What monsters baby?_

Wide fearful eyes stared into the forest behind them, pulling Bella's attention to the back of werewolves stalking through the trees toward them. Her heart leapt in jot as she recognized Jacobs russet fur amongst the back, and sank in the same second as she saw the snarl that drew his muzzle back to reveal razor teeth.

_Of course baby, Daddy always fights the monsters away._

Standing and carefully stepping backwards she pressed the child close against her body, lifting and holding her tightly. Tearing her gaze away from the advancing wolves she glanced over her shoulder, searching for some route of escape and found Edward standing in the trees behind her. Relief flooded her body until she realised he wasn't moving and had no apparent intention to. She blinked rapidly as spinning her head back to the wolves swung her hair into her vision.

Squeezing the tiny body briefly she buried her face into her daughter's hair, inhaling the scent that was so like her fathers. She stroked her cheek and murmured into her ear,

_Sweetie listen to me, when I put you down and tell you I want you to run as fast as you can to your Daddy behind us, no matter what don't look back okay? I love you angel, always_.

Lowering her slowly to the floor she urged the little girl behind her, protecting her from view if not harm.

_Are you going to fight the monsters Mummy?_

_Yeah, it's my turn now, now RUN!_

Pushing her daughter away she stepped forward toward the werewolves, confident her daughter would be safe in her father's arms. Laughing shakily she raised her chin, tossing her hair over her shoulder, she wouldn't be afraid anymore and she'd gladly die to protect her lover and the beautiful little girl they had made. Twisting slightly she saw the dark hair splayed across Edwards shoulder as she hid in his arms, his topaz eyes staring directly into Bella's.

_I love you,_ she whispered knowing he could hear her, at his nod she turned back.

The wolves lunged and Bella prayed her daughter wouldn't see the bloodbath.

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_**Well? I wont know unless you tell me and press the little button, go on make me smile, even if it is anonymous. Sooner you review, sooner another chapter is up.**_


	8. Pain Has to End Sometime

**AN: This is the last chapter of How a Heart Breaks, i know from my reviews that alot of you arent expecting this ending and most probably wont like it. But its how I've always intended it to end and i hope it works.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all Stephenie Meyer's.**

**For my own personal sun, as always**

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_I want to feel you, I need to hear you_

_You are the light that's leading me._

_To the place where I find peace again._

Bella woke from her nightmare, bolting upright in bed gasping desperately for air. Her entire throat constricted as she was hit with the truth, tears rolling silently down her face as her chest heaved and she tried desperately to shake the falling of the razor claws drawing blood from her skin.

She looked down, half expecting to see bloody gashes marring the pale skin of her arms instead of smooth unmarked skin. Struggling for calm she clenched her fists, nails leaving red crescents in her palms the pain distracting her.

Edward was right, she wasn't good enough for him or anyone either, she was merely an amusement that eventually just got in the way; she had become a nuisance to him and his family. Bella deserved to be left. But no matter what Bella deserved her baby didn't, the little heartbeat thudding along inside her shouldn't have to grow up without a father and without a mother that couldn't protect and look after her. Bella made a lot of wrong choices that put herself in danger and she couldn't do that to an innocent baby.

The dream had been right she couldn't rely on a pack of adolescent werewolves for protection, they were volatile and unpredictable at the best of times, the scars on Emily's face prove that. They had no reason to protect Bella and her baby other than Jacobs love for her and one day he wouldn't love her anymore, just like Edward didn't. He would find his imprint and soul mate and Bella wouldn't matter any longer.

Bella had been torn apart by Edward leaving, he ripped a giant whole n her chest that left her incapable to breathe and in such agony that the pain never stopped, only grew with each passing day he was gone.

'_I don't want you anymore Bella, I don't love you.'_

Which only really left one viable option.

Dressing as quietly as possible she was grateful her clumsiness was dormant at that moment in time. Tugging one of Edward's old shirts over her head she searched for her car keys, glancing in the mirror as she did so. The sight halted her completely.

Staring back out from the mirror was a girl she didn't recognise. Long chestnut hair tumbled messily around her shoulder, framing her face wildly. Dull eyes stared lifelessly out from black circles contrasting sharply with the porcelain white of her skin, so pale she looked a vampire herself. Clothes hung off a fragile frame, wrists so tiny they looked like they could snap at any moment. Weight loss made the baby bump more prominent and she internally apologised to the child inside her.

Fumbling in the dark Bella somehow made it downstairs past a sleeping Jake sprawled on the sofa, as she passed she fondly took in his loud snoring and continued out the back door with her car keys. Thankfully the car was parked further down the road and the loud sputter of the engine starting wouldn't wake her father or Jake. Turning the car around she started down the long road to La Push, the trees the only life in the dark night. The dashboard clock said 2am, explaining the lack of drivers on the road and she only hoped nobody would be awake to notice her.

Twenty minutes of driving left her pulling into an opening in the trees at the side of the road and Bella stumbled toward the cliff, wishing for a flashlight to light the way. Climbing upwards and toward the left like she remembered she finally emerged out onto the top peak of the cliff, the one she had seen the pack diving off.

Dropping her car keys to the floor and kicking off her shoes Bella stared into the dark water thrashing below her. She thought of her father and best friend sound asleep at home, unaware she had left her bed and their guard. She thought of the Cullen's, and them settling into their new home wherever it was. Used to the breathtaking agony she thought of Edward too, his messy hair and the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled at her. The nights he would spend beside her, fast asleep in his arms.

Bella though of their baby, resting her hand on her bump she looked out to the sea. Images flashing before her eyes she whispered quietly,

" I can't look after you on my own and I don't want you to be without a Dad. I can't protect you from the vampires and whatever else is out there and I don't want you to get hurt if Edward comes back. You deserve more than this and I'm sorry I really am but I don't think either of us will make it through the pregnancy. I don't want you to feel what it's like to get your heart broken, to live with broken promises and empty words, its better this way."

With a last silent apology to the two men asleep in her home she stepped forward, the grass damp beneath her bare feet,

"I love you."

& jumped.

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**Did I surprise you then? Short chapter but i wanted to get it done quickly.**


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